6 September 2008
11:10 pm
Joburg
Radical Faith.
I went to the movies tonight. Yes, in Africa. :) I had a great time, but I realized that even something so simple is different in my new life here. I also realized just how different life is here; I mean, I obviously realized some of that earlier. It’s just it is being revealed in new ways all the time. It’s not about better or worse; it’s just different. The same way no two people are just alike, my life is different in this new place than it was in my old one. I struggled very much with the lack of the familiar; I have lived in the same place all my life before now. I felt so safe, so comfortable. And that’s all wonderful, but my life isn’t meant for just comfortable. I told someone in my first week in Joburg: my faith doesn’t even feel the same to me. That really bothered me; I thought, “Isn’t God supposed to be constant?” Of course He is. He is constant, He never leaves, never fails. He has been with me every single step of the way; on my fifteen hour flight where I threw up five times, to my terrifying first few nights at orientation, to moving to another new place with all sorts of brand new things. He is with me; He is holding me in His hands. He loves me with a passion undying, just the way He loves every one of you! What I am trying to say is, I have realized things are different. Things are bigger; bigger than just me, bigger than what I can take hold of. But they are not too big for my God. He knows every person in the movie theater tonight, everyone on the roads, everyone in every gated house I passed. He also knows, and loves, everyone in Africa and North Carolina and Albemarle and Belarus and every place in the entire world. He is working everywhere. He is working in me with every passing moment. He is working in homes and schools and workplaces and churches and nations. He is always aware and always caring. It’s different because it’s bigger than me. Bigger than my world, bigger than what we, as humans, can do. It’s His. The world is a mess because we made it that way. God made it beautiful, and the problems are our fault. But, because He is amazing, He is working every day to fix what we destroy. He is healing broken lives, changing everything. We aren’t capable of making it better. We can’t do a thing without Him. But through Him, absolutely nothing is impossible! Mark 11:24 says: “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you will receive it, and you will!” Our God is just astounding; He listens to us and comforts us and holds us in His hands. Things are different here. Things are different everywhere. There are seven billion people on the earth, searching for purpose. There is only one Saviour, perfectly and totally sufficient for all of them! He feels different to me here because everything feels different here. I am out of my box; I don’t know anything at all, except Him. He knows that. He took my world and made it bigger and said “look and see. This is the scheme of things. You’re a part of it. So is everyone else here. I am going to do great things.”
Hillsong:
The same power that conquered the grave
lives in me, lives in me.
Your love, that rescued the earth,
lives in me, lives in me!
I feel like I’m rambling. :) What I am trying to say is, God is transforming the way I see the world. My faith is different here- it’s bigger! I need to look outside where I’ve been living and see what else is going on. God is great and mighty and He is at work. What a blessing to be beside Him in ministry! I just am so encouraged to see what He is doing. He is truly great and the more He reveals of Himself to me, the more in awe I am. The faith I had just isn’t enough. What I need, what God wants, and what the world needs to see is faith that steps outside the soft cocoon we live in. Stepping out on the waves to where Christ is standing can be terrifying, but it is so worth it. His presence with me is more real than I have ever experienced, because I am realizing I am nothing without Him; I am relying on Him, trusting Him for everything. We think we have it all under control, that we can keep on existing as though nothing is wrong in the world. But we are not in control. He is, always. We need to stop putting our trust in ourselves and our security and start understanding that it’s about Him, not us. We owe everything to our Father and Lord; we wouldn’t have that cocoon if it wasn’t for Him. We owe Him that much, to see the world for what it is: to see lostness for what it is. To realize that it’s all bigger.
Radical faith takes a radical step, but it doesn’t have to be halfway around the world. It could be just across the hall or down the street. Or on your knees. I pray that Christ’s glory and grace and mercy and beauty and awesomeness would just rain down on you. That there’s no mistaking Him for anything else. That you’ll know you were meant to love Him and worship Him and understand His love for you, and the whole world. That you would understand what radical faith looks and feels like. He is amazing; we are just amazingly loved.
Sorry if that was terrible and disjointed; it is almost one in the morning. :) Love you all. Let me know how I can be praying for you. Hope you can see the work of God clearly in your life and my own. It’s not about me; He is just fantastic beyond words. :) Goodnight!
Hillsong thought:
Your grace is enough, more than I need.
At Your word I will believe.
I wait for You, draw near again.
Let Your spirit make me new.
I will fall at Your feet,
I will fall at Your feet,
and I will worship You here.
Your presence in me;
Jesus light the way
by the power of Your word.
I am restored, I am redeemed.
By Your spirit, I am free.
I will fall at Your feet,
I will fall at Your feet,
and I will worship You here.
Freely You gave it all for us.
Surrendered Your life upon that cross!
Great is Your love, poured out for all.
This is our God!
Lifted on high from death to life,
forever our God is glorified!
Servant and King, rescued the world.
This is our God!
I will fall at Your feet,
I will fall at Your feet,
and I will worship You here.
I will fall at Your feet,
I will fall at Your feet,
and I will worship You here.